Where Have I Been?

First off, I’d like to address the elephant in the room–yes, it’s been a very long time since I last posted. Don’t get me wrong, this blog hiatus, if you will, was not entirely intentional. I love sharing my thoughts and views and interacting with all of you. I’ve said before that blogging is a very therapeutic thing for me. Sometimes, though, life just gets in the way.

My last post was on Valentine’s Day (or February 14th for us single people). Just prior to that post, I accepted a new position in a totally different field. As you can imagine, I was excited about starting a new career but I was also completely and utterly terrified of this new venture. I actually started my new job on my birthday, which typically I would take off but scheduling just worked out that way. It’s been quite an adjustment but, so far, the job is going well. I had to go through a bunch of training when I first started but I’m slowly becoming more confident in my new role. It’s still too early to tell if it’s something I want to make a career out of but I’ve always been kind of indecisive when it came to those things anyway.

I’ve gone back and forth for a while on whether I would go into my recent obstacles with my mental health. Ultimately, I decided that transparency and honesty is something I want to portray here and my health is big reason why I haven’t posted in so long. For the past five months, I’ve been struggling with my anxiety…more than what’s normal for me. I thought it was because I started the new job and most people who make a career change (or any other life change) are bound to experience some form of anxiety as a result. Humans instinctively fear change and I’m no different. I expected the “new job” anxiety, and even planned on taking a short break while I made the adjustment, but I didn’t anticipate it lasting this long. I feel like I’m past the part where the job is still “new”, yet I still have those days where I’m apprehensive about even going to work. Some days are better than others but I’m taking steps to get myself out of this rut for good and be unequivocally happy. Over the past twenty or so years, I’ve learned to put on a mask, so to speak, and hide my anxiety from the rest of the world. Doing that all day, everyday is exhausting and motivation is difficult. There were so many times when I wanted to write but just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and focus on my blog. It was so frustrating because I was unable to do something I loved and that brought me happiness. Now, though, I’ve reached the point where I’m frustrated with the frustration and I’m taking control again.

So, what’s next for my blog? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure…at least not content wise. I have a few ideas in the works but nothing is set in stone yet. What I am sure of is that I’m committing to uploading a post at least once a week.

Thank you so much for reading this somewhat, long winded blogpost! I hope you will continue on this journey with me. Life isn’t easy (in the slightest!) but knowing when you need to step back and take care of yourself makes all the difference. Until next week!

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